Bite of Darkness: Taste of Innocence Outtakes
by Nolebucgrl
Summary: Bella's & other viewpoints from Taste of Innocence; the story of Smugward and his desire to taste the blood of an innocent; wherein he ends up biting off more than he can chew.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N So here you go, your first glimpse into the mind of Bella courtesy of Team Smugward for Fandom Gives Back. I hope you enjoy!**

Taste BPOV Chapter 1

_Is true love worth dying for? Novel after novel would have one believe that to be entirely true, that the power of love survives death and lovers are reunited in an afterlife too breathtaking for words. Romeo could not conceive of life without his Juliet, so he ended his own before she could awaken and take her place at his side forever. She, in turn, finds him dead at his own hand and then kills herself, also not wanting to live on without her beloved. _

_Does this story speak to the youth of today? It doesn't seem so. We're more jaded for one thing and our eyes are open to the possibility that Mr. Right may not be anything more than Mr. Right Now and that there's always another opportunity right around the corner. True love…I'm of the opinion that it doesn't even exist anymore, if it ever did. It's an antiquated notion perpetuated by writers and poets to make us all strive for the unattainable perfection. Romantic love isn't worth dying over, unless it's to avoid the pain of an inevitable break up down the road, having one's heart crushed beneath a sharp boot heel. _

Jeez, Bella, bitter much? I sighed and brushed my hair out of my eyes, frowning down at the passages I'd just written for my Feminist Lit class. I toyed with crossing it out and starting over but I knew that my professor would probably like them if nothing else. Ms. Leah Clearwater spoke of men with a kind of fiery hate that made me think she was more than a little familiar with the concept of heartbreak. I'd leave it as is and probably get an A because of it.

I felt an inch between my shoulder blades as if someone was watching me. I turned and saw the familiar hair of Jacob Black as he ducked behind one of the library stacks. Damn. I really hoped he wasn't going to ask me out again. I felt like a terrible person each time I turned him down but I just didn't find him attractive and I wasn't at school to meet a man anyway. I wanted to get my Literature degree, then a Masters in Education and then I'd look into becoming a professor in my own right. _A man-hating bitch of a professor like Ms. Clearwater? You really need to get out more, Bella. Getting laid might do you a world of good._

I tried to ignore the nagging voice in my head when my phone started vibrating on the table. Oh crap, it was from Alice. _Bella, where are you? You were supposed to meet us at O'Roarke's an hour ago! _I winced when I saw the time and scooped up my notebook and textbooks and dumped them in my bag. I fired off a quick text message to Alice that I was on the way. At least I had an excuse if Jacob approached.

I heard him calling but pretended not to hear him as I made my way out of the library and headed north to the bar that Alice and Rose frequented. I was only going to stay for an hour or so before I went home and crawled into bed. _Pretty pathetic plans for a Friday night, living it up at the library and then ditching your friends to go to sleep. You're a real party animal, Bella._

Okay, so I had no life but so what? I didn't want to hook up with a different guy every weekend like Rosalie did or moon after one who didn't even know I was alive like Alice. My days of allowing myself to be led around by a man had ended the day he fucked me over. Occasionally I got lonely and wished I had a guy to spend time with so I turned to men in books and television; they were safe options who couldn't hurt me and only brought me pleasure. I didn't need Romeo, I needed Dean Winchester or Angel or Matt Seracen and they were available with the click of a few buttons.

I pushed my way through the heavy oak doors of O'Roarke's and surveyed the crowd, rolling my eyes when I caught sight of Lauren and Jessica putting on a show for any male that cared to look. Really, why even bother putting on clothes at all? I glanced to the right and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Rosalie's blond hair. She was sitting next to some guy, of course. He was in the shadows and I couldn't see much of him but he looked tall and kind of pale. I walked through the crowd and when I got near their table, Alice, with her uncanny ability to know things, hopped up from the table and wrapped me in one of her bone crushing hugs, nearly tackling me to the floor. How such a tiny girl could squeeze the life out of me I hadn't a clue.

"Bella! It's about time!"

I laughed and tried to untangle myself from her arms. "I'm sorry, I got to reading and lost track of time…"

Rose cut me off with a snort. "What else is new? You do that every day!"

I felt like I'd been slapped in the face but I could hardly deny her words. "I'm sorry, Rose; I left as soon as I got your text!" She was always giving me crap about studying and taking no interest in guys.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Come over here and meet our new friend, Edward." Her voice was a purr of satisfaction and I knew she'd found yet another willing victim. I turned to look at Rose's male du jour and felt my heart start pounding as I took in the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen. I felt my face heat as my boring brown eyes met his beautiful green ones. His face looked like it had been carved by Michelangelo himself, chiseled and perfect, high cheekbones, a jaw that could cut glass, a messy cap of hair that seemed to be a mix of brown, red and blond. My fingers twitched with the need to reach out and touch him, to make sure he was real and not some hallucination my tired mind had cooked up.

He stood and pulled out a chair for me, so apparently he was real. Though he sure didn't seem it…when was the last time a man had offered me a seat? "Hello, Bella, it's nice to meet you." His voice was soft and impossibly sexy; his words flowed over my skin like caressing hands. He was in a black leather jacket and black jeans and his body was as attractive as the rest of him, long and lean.

I took the seat he offered, brushing past him and reveling in that slight brush of his jacket across my arm. "Hello, Edward," I responded quietly, unsure what I was supposed to say or do with a man this beautiful. Then again, he was clearly with Rose so why was I responding to him? He'd never be interested in someone plain like me when Rose was all but undressing next to him.

He sat back down across from me and I felt his eyes moving over me. More blood rushed into my cheeks at his perusal and I looked between him and Rose, reminding myself that it was her that he would be taking home later tonight. Rose and Alice chattered about classes and I interjected now and then just to show I was listening and not just sneaking glances at the gorgeous man across from me. His eyes seemed to be on me every time I looked at him and I felt my face get hotter and hotter, along with other parts of me better left unacknowledged. I hadn't felt sexually frustrated in a long time but here I was in a crowded bar at a table with my friends and one look from Edward had me clenching my thighs together. Thank God I was wearing jeans.

"So, Bella, your friends tell me you're quite the student. What are you studying?"

Dear God, he was talking to me. Of course, he was asking me about school, not to marry him and bear his children. I blushed even harder at that thought. "Literature." I wished I had something witty to say but even getting that out felt like climbing Mt. Everest for me. Why must he be so beautiful? Why must he be Rose's? She kept shifting closer to his side, leaning toward him, putting her breasts on display, as if she needed those trappings to get a man.

"Oh." He didn't sound very impressed. "So do you often study on Friday nights?" There it was. He thought I was a big loser because I'd spent my evening in the library. Well, he wasn't wrong.

I looked down at the table. "I have a big paper due on Monday." And that paper was already done; I was working on the next one. He didn't need to know that though, that was only more fodder for him to laugh at me.

Alice knew me all too well and leaned over to whisper in my ear. "He didn't mean anything by it, Bella."

I shook my head and lowered my voice to a whisper, not wanting Edward to hear me. "He just basically called me a loser who has nothing better to do than study on the weekend." Thankfully he seemed to be wrapped up in his conversation with Rose so he didn't listen as Alice tried to tell me that he most certainly did not, he was just being friendly. Guys that looked like him weren't friendly with girls like me; they were friendly with beautiful girls like my two friends.

I pushed my hair away from my face and heard Edward take a sharp breath. What was that about? He pushed away from the table and I turned to look at him fully again. "Sorry, I need to get another drink, does anybody need anything?" I shook my head, I was leaving anyway. Clearly he didn't want to be around me and I really didn't want to sit across from him any longer and wait for him and Rose to take off so he could kiss her with those full, beautiful lips. Usually it didn't bother me to be around one of Rose's hookups but I'd never been so instantly attracted to one of them either.

"I'm gonna head home now," I told Alice, standing up and picking up my bag.

"You just got here, Bella," she whined.

I smiled and shook my head. "I've got a lot to do tomorrow and need to get up early, plus I have a headache. I'll see you in the morning, okay?" By in the morning, I meant afternoon because Alice wouldn't be up until one or two. She nodded reluctantly and Rose just waved and kept her focus on the bar where Edward was getting another beer. I let my eyes find him one last time before I made my way out of the bar and into the pleasant night air. It was cool but not too cold and I was comfortable in my flannel shirt and jeans.

I walked home slowly, trying to clear my head which seemed to be focused on that beautiful boy in the bar. Since when did I obsess over a complete stranger that didn't remotely have any interest in me? It was completely ridiculous and I was irritated at myself for wishing he had noticed me, for wishing that I looked like Rose or Alice and could captivate someone like that.

I heard footsteps approaching me quickly from behind and tightened my grip on my backpack. A hand reached out and touched my shoulder and I shrieked and whirled and struck out with my bag.

"Bella! Oof!" My bag hit him in the midsection and I stared in horror at Edward. What in the hell was he doing here?

"Edward? What are you doing here? Why are you following me?" Where were Rose and Alice? Maybe I'd left something and he was just bringing it to me, like a gentleman. He didn't look like one though, he looked dark and dangerous and almost deadly in the half light. He was truly stunning and exciting.

"I wanted to make sure you got home safely, Bella. What kind of man would I be if I let one of you girls walk home alone and you were hurt? I could never live with myself." The words were right, the tone was right, but it sounded extremely rehearsed. Why did he give a damn about whether I got home alright? It was Rose he was after, not me.

"Shouldn't you be with Rose? I kind of thought the two of you would be going home together." I tried, and failed, to keep sadness from seeping into my tone. Hopefully he didn't notice.

"Oh, Rose is a cool girl but she's not really my type."

Was he serious? I snorted in disbelief. "Rose is everybody's type." Not one straight male that I had ever met didn't want Rose, from teenagers to grandfathers.

"Why, Bella, are you calling your best friend a slut?"

How dare he? I glared at him and pushed him and he fell back a few inches, blinking at me in surprise. "How dare you talk about my friend like that? Rose is a great person; she's not a slut at all! I meant that every guy likes Rose, she's gorgeous."

He smirked at me. "I know what you meant, Bella, and I was just kidding. Yes, Rose is beautiful and a very cool girl. I'm glad I met her, I'm just not interested in her."

That just was not possible. Rose got what Rose wanted and I could tell she wanted Edward. "Why not, are you gay?" That was the only reasonable explanation…plus so many gay men were incredibly hot, it made sense that he would be, since he was the hottest of them all.

"No, I'm not gay. I just go for a different type of girl."

Okay, I'd play along with whatever this bullshit he was spewing was. "What type is that?"

He smiled and I felt my heart clench at the sight of it. Jesus, he just got better looking. How was that possible? "I like quiet, smart girls with long brown hair and beautiful brown eyes." Oh, so he was just fucking with me. I got it now. Maybe Rose asked him to toy with me. She could be cruel when she wanted to be.

I turned and started walking away from him, not about to play whatever game this was. "Um, Bella? Where are you going?"

"I thought I made that quite clear. I'm going home." I didn't turn to face him as I spoke; looking at him any longer knowing that he was just messing with my head would only hurt me worse than I already was.

"Fuck, Bella, I just came out and told you I like you and you're going to walk away from me?" That did it. I turned back around and stomped over to him, putting my hands on my hips and glaring at him, the heat suffusing my face again. Damn me and my stupid blush.

"Don't make fun of me, Edward!" I couldn't stand it, not from him. Why did the prettiest people have to be the ugliest on the inside?

"How am I making fun of you?" he asked, staring at me as if he couldn't comprehend what I was saying. He was a fine actor, maybe he should be starring on Broadway. Hell, for all I knew he already was.

"Guys like you do not like girls like me." Could I be any clearer?

"What do you mean by guys like me?"

As if he didn't know. Fine, I'd tell him. I stomped my foot in outrage that I was even having this conversation. "Beautiful guys, Edward. Pretty, drop dead gorgeous men. I am plain and boring. You are extraordinary. Our kinds don't mix. Stop whatever game you're playing and leave me the hell alone!" I was yelling, losing my cool, completely pissed off and hurt that he'd come after me to make me feel like more of a fool than I did already for being attracted to someone I could never have.

He ran his hand through his hair and watched me with interest, like he was studying me for an experiment. Maybe that was it. I was on one of those hidden camera shows. Let's make the stupid girl believe that the gorgeous guy is into her. Laugh along, America! "Bella, first of all, you are not plain or boring. You are extremely beautiful." I snorted and he held up his hand before I could yell at him again. "Please, don't interrupt. It's obvious that you don't see yourself very clearly. Do you know what I was wishing for before you showed up at the bar tonight?"

What kind of ridiculous question was that? "A threesome with Alice and Rose?" I asked sarcastically. He was a man after all.

"No, snarky one." I giggled at his comment; my father often called me that. "I was wishing that for once I could meet a girl that had more on her mind than getting laid. I've spent far too much time around people that…well, that are not good people, Bella. And all I wanted to do was find someone good and kind and sweet to spend some time with, to get to know."

If only his words were true. I felt myself wanting to respond to them but I knew better. "Since when do guys that look like you want to meet a nice girl?"

"Since when do nice girls like you stereotype guys like me into one big group of likeminded lemmings?" I opened and closed my mouth as I tried to think of a response to that. Was I really being unfair and unreasonable? "No smart comeback to that one?"

I scowled at him and shrugged. "Alright, you have a point. Still, what makes you so sure I'm a nice girl?" I could be bad, if I wanted to be.

"I don't know that, for sure, but I'd like to find out." He sounded sincere and though I still had misgivings, I nodded. "Maybe, instead of going home, we could go out and get a cup of coffee and talk for a bit?"

He really wanted to talk to me? This wasn't some kind of joke? Maybe karma was finally smiling down on me. I stared at him, trying to see into his mind, wishing I could know what his true motivation was; wanting to believe that he wanted no more than he said; to get to know me. "Alright." What was the worst that could happen? He could laugh at me for being fool enough to think that he wanted to be with me and I could wallow in rejection. I was used to that and it would make me stronger in the end, just like the last time had.

"Do you mind if we stop by my house first?" That made me more nervous. There were worse things that could happen than rejection, after all. My father had drilled that into my head many times. He gestured down at his clothes. "I spilled beer on myself at the bar and was heading home to change when I saw you. If you're uncomfortable, I understand, I could just meet you somewhere?" His story made sense and now that he mentioned it I could smell the beer on him. The fact that he was willing to meet me made up my mind for me.

I took a deep breath. "Alright, we'll go to your place so you can change first." He smiled and led the way to his house, just a block over. I walked along with him in silence, still not quite believing that I was spending time alone with this glorious man.

He stopped at a lovely brownstone and led the way inside, putting his hand on the small of my back as we walked into the living room. I felt like every nerve ending in my body was transfixed by his touch. He pointed to a big green sofa. "You can turn on the TV if you want. I'll be right back down." He ran up the stairs and I wandered over to his stereo, looking at the vast CD collection in awe. He had music from the 30's on up, from big band to Eminem. It was an astounding collection and I smiled when I saw Green Day in his collection. They'd been my favorite band in high school.

He came back into the room and I turned to him. "Edward, this is amazing. I've never seen so many CDs." At least not outside of a music store.

"I love music; it's kind of a passion of mine." I wondered what his other passions were and decided I was probably better off not knowing.

"Do you play any instruments?" His smile turned almost predatory and I blinked. I looked at him again and he looked perfectly normal. My imagination was going wild; perhaps I was delusional and he was all a dream. That would explain a lot.

"Come on, I'll show you." He held his hand out to me and I hesitated a second before crossing the room and taking it. His hand was extremely cold but it also felt right holding mine. Like my hand belonged in his. And that was just ridiculous and yet another sign that I was imagining this whole thing. Oh well, might as well enjoy it before I woke up in my own bed, cold and alone.

He led me down the hall into a room that he must use only for music. There was a black baby grand piano and several stands holding various colorful guitars and a bass guitar. I took my hand from his and ran it over the gorgeous piano, not a drop of dust to be found on it. "Edward, this is beautiful. Will you…" I trailed off, not sure if I should ask him to play for me. What if it ended the dream?

"Will I play for you?" he finished for me. I nodded, unable to speak, loving that he was in tune with me enough to know what I wanted. "Of course. Anything in particular you'd like to hear?"

Like I could begin to narrow it down? He could play for me for hours and I'd be perfectly content just being in his presence. "Just play me your favorite."

He smiled and flexed his fingers as he placed them on the keys. "If I do that, you need to sit next to me on the bench and tell me all about you." That would be a short conversation but if it's what he wanted…I slid on the bench next to him as he began playing some beautiful melody that I didn't recognize.

"I'm from a tiny town in Washington called Forks and my parents divorced when I was two. I went to live with my mom and we moved a lot of places so I really didn't have a lot of friends growing up." I heard the melancholy in my own words and tried to shake myself out of it. I didn't need to drive him away with my whining. "I went to live with my father my junior year of high school when my mom got remarried. She wanted to spend more time with her husband and I was getting in the way." He started to play a louder song, striking the keys with more force than the last. That was weird.

"I liked living with my father though. Forks is this tiny town and it rains all the time. There's not a lot to do there and he liked to drag me fishing with him early in the morning. I hated fishing but it was fun spending time with him. He's the Chief of Police so kept some odd hours but it worked for us." He smiled for some reason and launched into a cheerier tune. That was an odd reaction, usually when people heard my father was a cop they put their guard up; Edward didn't seem remotely concerned though.

"I came to NYU to study Literature and get my Master's degree so I can teach someday. I met Alice on the first day of school, she was my roommate and she just kind of took over. She immediately tried to throw away all my clothes but I wouldn't let her. She was completely charming though and instead of getting mad I just started laughing and she joined in. We've been friends ever since. She introduced me to Rose and though she intimidated me at first, she's very sarcastic and clever and cutting and we just get along. Her brother is a nice guy and we spend time with him now and then. Alice is totally in love with him but he doesn't even notice." I felt bad for my friend, now more than ever as I sat next to this god of a man playing music that wasn't even a tenth as beautiful as he himself was. I knew what it was to want something unattainable now. I watched his fingers move over the keys and wondered what they would feel like moving over my body. _Keep dreaming Bella, maybe you'll get there._

I felt him nudge my shoulder and I turned to look at him. "Something on your mind?" I licked my lips, my thoughts still on his talented fingers. I shook my head and felt my cheeks get red as I feared what I'd been thinking of was written all over my face. My father always said I was guileless. He stopped playing and turned to face me, tilting my chin up with his pointer finger. I reveled in even that small part of him touching my skin. "Bella, may I kiss you?"

Could he really want to? I couldn't have said no even if I wanted to as I looked into those piercing forest green eyes and whispered, "Yes." My heart was beating frantically as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, reaching around and cupping the back of my head gently as he pulled me closer to him. His lips, oh God, his lips, were better than I could imagine. If this was a dream, it was the best I'd ever had. His tongue moved against my lips and I opened my mouth instinctively. His tongue was cool on mine and yet sent heat through my body. I tentatively moved my tongue against his, not really knowing what I was doing but it felt right and good.

He ran his fingers through my hair, sending shivers up and down my spine and making me moan against his lips. He pulled me around so that I was straddling him on the piano bench. I could feel his hardness pressing against me and it felt so incredibly good that I rubbed against him. He tore his lips away from mine and kissed along my neck. God the way that felt! I didn't have words for how good it was. He tugged my shirt and exposed my shoulder, tracing his lips all down it, sending jolts of desire through my body. I'd never wanted anyone like this and it felt like he wanted me just as badly. I ran my hands through his hair as he licked and sucked on my collar bone and I shivered and moaned again. My heart was racing and I was sure he could hear it as he smiled against my skin.

He pulled away and faced me, his hands on my hips, mine still buried in that lovely mane of hair. "Bella, I think we should stop and go get coffee now." Of course. He didn't want me; he didn't want _that_ with me. He'd just gotten carried away and now he was trying to rectify things and cut me off without hurting me.

I buried my head in his shoulder, not able to face him as I asked, "Don't you want me?"

He laughed and pulled me back so that I had to look into his beautiful eyes. "Of course I want you, silly girl. I just didn't want you to think that I was pushing you to give me more than you were ready for." I blushed again, thrilled with his words and the sincerity in his eyes.

"You know that I'm a virgin." He nodded and I felt embarrassment fill me but I had to go on. "And that makes you not want to be with me? Because I might not be good?" I wanted to be with him, I wanted to give him something I'd held on to for a very long time because he was beautiful and special and somehow he wanted me. It might just be for tonight but it would be worth it. It had to be.

"No, Bella! No! I want very much to make love to you. I just want to be sure it's what you want." Make love…my heartbeat picked up at those words. Could he ever love me? That was just ridiculous. He wanted me and I wanted him. It could be enough, more than I ever thought I'd have with him anyway.

"Edward, I want you to make love with me." I was scared as hell saying it, but I was sure he wasn't going to reject me now and that made me brave.

"Then I will make love to you, Bella. You'll be my first." Hurt went through me at the words. Why would he lie to me now, about something like that?

"Please, Edward, you don't have to pretend for me, I know you're not a virgin." Please, don't lie about it; I can't be with you if you do.

He caressed my cheek and I felt bolts of electricity shoot through me at his touch. I wanted this man more than I'd ever wanted anything in my entire life. "No, I'm not a virgin but I have never made love to a woman before. I've fucked plenty of girls in my time but none of them mattered. You do. It goes against my instincts and frankly I'm a little nervous but I want very much to make love to you." His words, his tone and his eyes all told me he was speaking the absolute truth and I leaned forward and kissed him softly. He kept kissing me as he stood and carried me upstairs. He was so strong, my weight didn't even seem to phase him as he walked effortlessly, not even shifting me and I shivered in pleasure as I marveled at his strength. He sat me on the bed and kept right on kissing me and I felt like I was going to melt, my bones turning to liquid from just his lips on mine.

He pulled away and looked at me for a minute, I felt like I was naked already and he was seeing inside me to my very soul. How did he do that? "Are you sure?" he asked, reaching for me and trailing his fingers down my bare arms, my flannel was nowhere to be found. When had he removed it? I felt goosebumps rise everywhere his fingers touched. His eyes held mine as he reached down to remove my shirt. I was wearing a boring white bra underneath but he looked at me as if I was in the sexiest lingerie that Victoria's Secret had to offer. How could he possibly want me? I didn't understand it.

He ran his fingers along the edge of my bra, tracing the cups as I shivered beneath his fingers. His hands were cool but I wasn't shivering from his temperature, it was from need. I wanted his hands on me and though I loved that he was going slow, a part of me burned to have him just take me. He reached behind me and unclasped my bra, slipping it off my shoulders and letting out a breath as he took me in. I resisted the urge to cover myself as he reached out and cupped them both in the palm of his hands. God, that felt incredible. Everything he did, every look, every touch, was better than the last.

He lay me down and took my right breast into his mouth, sucking on my nipple. I felt it harden as his cool lips moved over me. "You're so beautiful." Here, in this moment, I could believe it. He made me feel that way, even if I knew it wasn't true. I buried my hands in his hair, holding him to my chest as he brought his hand up and squeezed the breast that he wasn't sucking. His other hand moved down my stomach, tracing erotic circles over my skin, causing me to shiver and moan.

His hand reached the button of my jeans and he flipped it open effortlessly, lowering the zipper and tugging my jeans off. I lifted my hips to help him, now completely bare except for my white panties. He pulled his shirt off and I gasped at the sight of him. Hard planes and angles, perfect abs…he was even more beautiful unclothed, impossible though it may seem.

He lowered himself on top of me and I felt his cool skin on mine. He was hard and muscular and so absolutely amazing, it was as if he was a statue come to life, he was even cold like one. But God he felt good, rubbing his penis over me, his jeans not masking his excitement. I wanted him, desperately. He kissed me passionately, leaving me breathless and completely turned on.

"Edward, make love to me, now," I demanded, my voice barely a whisper but I knew he heard me. He reached down and slid my panties off my legs, leaving me completely naked. I should have been nervous that a man was seeing all of me but I wasn't. I just wanted him. He sat up and looked at me, his eyes moving over me as if he was committing me to memory. I shivered as he watched me, watching him just as intently. If this was real, I wanted to remember every moment of it. And if it was a dream, well, I still wanted to remember it all. Nothing could top this.

He reached out and touched my waist, his fingers creeping toward my thighs. Nobody had ever touched me there before but I yearned for him to do it. He bent and kissed my hip bone, his eyes intent on mine as his tongue traced over my hip and thigh before dipping between my legs. Holy shit! I moaned and spread my legs wider, not caring if it looked like I was easy. He began to lick me in earnest, his tongue moving over me and sending jolts of pleasure through my body. My thighs clenched around him and my fingers yanked at his hair as I let the sensations swamp me. "Baby, not quite so tight." Oh shit. I loosened my thighs and he smiled up at me. "Do you like that, Bella? I must say, I love how you taste." His words made me even wetter and he went to work with his tongue again, flicking it back and forth over me before he bit gently. I felt like I was on fire and lights exploded around me as I came apart, shouting his name over and over as his tongue continued to move. I was wrong before, there was nothing better than this.

Edward pulled away and yanked off his jeans. He wasn't wearing any underwear and I felt nerves return when I saw the size of him. It was intimidating but it was also beautiful and I wanted it more than anything. "Are you ready for me baby?" he asked with a grin.

I was but…"Don't we, should you…what about a condom?" I didn't need to be that stupid girl that got pregnant by the first guy that took an interest in her. Not that I didn't want to have his baby someday, maybe.

"I can't have children, Bella, and I've been tested so…"

I was mortified. I'd probably killed the mood by making him think of whatever was wrong with him and I didn't know what to say. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I just wanted to be safe."

He smiled reassuringly. "No worries, sweetheart. It's very smart to be safe. I should have told you so you wouldn't worry. Are you ready?"

I nodded and leaned back, nervous for what would surely be painful at first but excited that I was giving myself to this gorgeous man. He kissed me, lowering his body to mine and aligning with me. He slid slowly inside me and I felt the first bit of pain as he stretched me open. "Tell me if I'm hurting you too much." I shook my head, because it was tolerable, and he pushed in further and stopped. "This is the worst part, baby, it'll hurt for a minute. Are you sure?" And I was sure, so I nodded and he broke my barrier, sliding all the way inside me. I gasped in pain and he waited patiently for me, which couldn't have been easy. I felt warm inside and knew that my innocence had been torn and I was bleeding. It was hot and sharp but after a minute it dulled to a slight pain.

"It's better." It burned a little but I was adjusting around him. He moved slowly in and out of me and after a few minutes it stopped hurting and started feeling good. He moved faster inside me and I felt pleasure building as he hit my g-spot over and over again. Lights flashed before my eyes and my body seized up as I came around him, tightening as he continued to move inside me. His lips found my throat and he kissed me as I felt him start to come inside me. His lips opened and his teeth pierced my skin, a slight nibbling sensation that felt good and made me tingly inside. Everything felt incredible; his lips on my skin and his cock inside me making me feel complete, wanted, sated.

Something changed and then it started to hurt; there was a burning sensation in my neck and I felt myself getting very lightheaded. What was happening? His lips stayed on my throat and I tried to grasp his hair, to pull his head away from me and ask what had happened. Why did it hurt now, when it had been so good only moments before? My hand fell back on the bed, I was too weak to move and I felt my eyes getting heavy. He pulled back and looked at me for a moment, his lips redder than before, some conflict in his eyes and then resolve flashed into them as he buried his face back in my neck. My own words came back to me and somehow I knew. _True love…is it worth dying for? _Maybe it wasn't love, but it had felt something like it and I was dying for it. I didn't have an answer, maybe I'd find it in the next life. The fire caught me then and I let myself get lost in the flames, every inch of my body filled with searing heat. I let the fire take me, hoping the pain would be brief and death would be quick. No lost lover awaited me in the afterlife, I was alone…


	2. Chapter 12 Outtake, Jenks POV

**A/N This is my second bonus outtake from FGB. Jenks POV of his conversation with Smugward in Chapter 12, when was told to buy a house and a cow. No big deal right? Hope you like it!**

**Just a warning, the next Taste chapter may be a day or two late, RL is getting in the way of writing, but I'll do my best to have it out on time. It will be posted sometime next week, I promise :)**

Taste Chapter 12 Outtake; Jenks POV

Four AM and all was not well. If he was going to call, it would be within the hour. Edward Cullen was not governed by time the way that most of humanity was…not that he was a human. I didn't know what the hell he was and I'd spent the better part of the last twenty years trying to figure it out with nothing to show for it but wild theories based on television programs.

Working for a…whatever he was, had always been an adventure and the truth was I got a little thrill from it seeing as I was hardly the type to live a glamorous life. How he'd chosen me, a faceless lawyer from a large Chicago firm, to run an empire was beyond me. Maybe it was because I didn't question him overly much and let money be my guide. Greed is good or so they say. Whatever it was, it'd made me a millionaire many times over and brought me fame and fortune beyond my wildest dreams.

I glanced over to the side of the bed and frowned at the perpetually empty space next to me. It was due to that fame and fortune that I'd met and married Heidi. Some days that seemed like a good thing, others not so much. She was beautiful and cultured and perfect…when she wanted to be. In reality, she was a gold digger and my alimony checks each month were written proof that she was a good one.

Still, I couldn't regret our brief but tumultuous marriage, since it produced our daughter Jane. She was the spitting image of her mother, though she was cursed with my lack of height. She had blond hair and blue eyes and a wicked sense of humor and sadly, her mother's sense of entitlement for the good things in life. She constantly wanted things from me and now that she was eighteen she was nearly impossible to satisfy; allowance didn't cut it anymore. She wanted cars and furs and jewels and anything else she felt she deserved. Another thing she wanted was Edward Cullen, much to my complete and utter horror.

She'd been there last year, his last visit to the office and the first he'd made in something like three years. I'd brought Jane to work with me to show her that there was more to what I did than just watching the cash roll in and I'd left her in my office while I went to a board meeting. When I came back, Edward was sitting at my desk and Jane was staring at him with a look on her face that no father ever wanted to see. He'd looked incredibly amused and after I finally got her to leave, had informed me that my daughter was quite lovely and he'd enjoy getting to know her better if I failed to live up to his expectations.

I'd told him to stay the hell away from her and mentally congratulated myself for the video evidence I had of his never changing ways. I thought I had an ace in the hole but when I looked in my safe after he left, every piece of information I'd collected on him over the years was gone and in its place was a note that said: _I'm always a step ahead of you, Jenks. If you ever try to compile any information on me again, I'll not only fuck your daughter, I'll make sure you watch me do it before I kill you. Get back to work._ That was the last time I'd entertained the thought of exposing Mr. Cullen for whatever he was.

4:30 AM. Please don't let him call. Please don't let him call. Usually he left me alone, sending the occasional email or making a random phone call with instruction to acquire this company or that; or to fire this person because they were embezzling or selling company secrets or whatever else he happened upon. How the hell he knew that was beyond me but he'd been right every single time. Lately though, he'd had some strange requests and he was positively terrifying when I dared to question him. How could I not, though? Who paid a million dollars to rent a museum for one night? Who was this girl he was taking out and why was he using a fake name to do it?

Thanks to my newfound friendship with Trevor Hall at the museum, I knew she was some mousy girl named Angela and that Mr. Cullen hadn't seemed to be overly smitten with her. What I couldn't understand was why he'd taken her out if that was the case? And why all the secrecy, beyond him not wanting to be exposed? He looked human and passed for it, so what was he doing?

With any luck, he'd spent the night with the girl and was going to be occupied until well into the day. I should go back to sleep. Surely he wouldn't have need of me again so soon. I could relax now and things could go back to normal. My eyes were heavy and I gave in to my body's need for some rest. I'd lost enough sleep over that…thing.

The next thing I knew the Jaws theme was sounding next to my head. I groped frantically for the phone and flipped it open. The ominous music had seemed a fitting choice for Mr. Cullen at the time but it didn't help to calm my already leaping nerves. Maybe I should change it to something a little less frightening and fitting for my own piece of mind.

"Mr. Cullen, sir, how are you?" I didn't care but it was to be expected that I would inquire, even if it was…Jesus, five in the morning? On a Saturday? Did the man never sleep? "Was your evening satisfactory?" I didn't see how it could be what with him was calling at this ungodly hour.

"Yes, it was fine. Thank you for arranging it." Thank God. He actually sounded relatively happy. Maybe he'd gotten laid and just gotten home. Though why he'd want that girl when he could have anyone he wanted was beyond me; the girls at the office practically salivated over him and I had it on good authority that he'd banged our head of acquisitions, the ice queen, Gianna Mastroni, three years ago. She was gorgeous and completely unapproachable but Mr. Cullen had her appearing at a board meeting with her black hair mussed and missing a few buttons on her blouse. Hall had sent me a photo of Mr. Cullen and Angela so I knew she wasn't drop dead gorgeous or anything, certainly not in Gianna's league. Then again, there was no accounting for taste; maybe he'd tired of stunning women. Mr. Cullen was completely unpredictable.

"I'm glad to hear it, sir. What can I do for you this morning?" What could he possibly want now? Did I have to rent out Times Square so he could take that girl on a picnic? How the hell would I do that?

"I need you to buy a house in New Jersey. The property is 31 Fairview Hill Road, in Fredon Township. I want it as soon as possible, preferably by Monday." He spoke in his usual cold, clipped tone, as if irritated by the fact that he had to speak to me at all.

What? He was calling me at five in the morning to buy him a house? He had houses all over the world. This made no sense. "What? Why New Jersey? And what makes you think you can close on a house that fast? The owners need to approve it and then the settlement costs and…"

"Are you fucking questioning me, Jenks?" Oh fuck. My heart was pounding in my chest and I reached in my drawer to take out my Prozac. I'd never had need of medications before Mr. Cullen came into my life but now they were a daily part of my regimen.

_Calm down, he's in New York. No matter how mad he is he can't hurt you right now. Just talk him down. _

"No, sir, it's just, you've had these strange requests lately and I'm wondering if something is wrong with you. Is this all about that woman? Mr. Hall said that you seemed friendly but not like you were in love or anything."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Oh shit, oh shit. How fucking stupid could I be? I found my glass of water and swallowed my pills quickly, praying for quick relief.

"You actually spoke to that obsequious little fuck at the museum and asked him about my evening? Since when do you fucking check up on me? Do we have a problem, Jenks?" Oh God, no. _We_ didn't have a problem. I did, because my boss could fire me at best and do…well, a lot worse at worst. I wasn't ready to die.

"Uh, no, I mean, I wasn't checking on you per se, I just wanted to make sure that you were satisfied with the accommodations and…"

"And you called and checked up on me!" I was so screwed. He was going to end me and he'd probably make do on his promise to sleep with Janey just to spite me. She wouldn't even be a challenge for him; she was constantly badgering me about when I talked to Edward last and would I tell him she said hello. God. My daughter wanted whatever that evil thing was.

"Look, Jenks, I thought we had a mutually satisfactory agreement but if you're going to be questioning me at every turn and fucking spying on me, maybe I better find someone who can manage to follow my orders more thoroughly." He could too. Mr. Cullen could easily find someone better than me to do this job and I'd have nothing left, even if he did allow me to live. Jane would certainly have no use for me if I wasn't a cash cow anymore and I knew damn well the only women I got into bed were due to my position at Cullen, not due to my non-existent good looks. Fat and balding didn't really reel the women in. I needed Mr. Cullen and I needed to make sure that he needed me, too. The only way to do that was to do everything he wanted me to do, no questions asked.

"No, please, Mr. Cullen. I apologize for overstepping my bounds. Please, give me a chance to prove myself to you. I'll get you that house and I'll get it by Monday. Just give me the name of the realtor and I'll take care of it." I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to do that but I'd be damned if I was going to lose everything that I had because I pissed off my boss.

"Any more behavior such as this and I will be forced to look for a new assistant. I believe I pay you more than enough to deal with my occasional request, no matter how odd you deem it to be. You know that I am special and I demand to be treated as such." Special…yeah that was the word for it. We both knew when he said that, he meant different, dangerous, deadly…every frightening description I could begin to think of. I wasn't an idiot, contrary to my lack of verbal filter this morning. I knew a threat when I heard one.

"You are more than generous, sir." This was true. I was rich beyond my wildest dreams thanks to Edward Cullen. He may be an asshole, but he was a generous one. I had no idea what my life would be like had I not met him. Maybe I'd be a faceless lawyer at Richardson, Lewis & Richardson, like I was when he found me. Maybe I'd be happily married with several little children and a not-so beautiful wife who actually cared for me instead of my money. Yes, life could have been better, but then again, it could have been worse. At least I had power and a position that commanded some respect, even if nobody knew that I was just a puppet for Mr. Cullen.

"The realtor is Weichert. The property lists for $2.9 million. Offer them five to be out by Monday, if it's not already empty. If they throw in furnishings, add another million. I'll be expecting your call. Oh and Jenks? Make sure there's at least one cow in the pasture." A what? Did he say…

"A cow?" All I heard was a dial tone as Mr. Cullen ended our call as abruptly as it began. Jesus Christ. So now I had two days to get him a house, fully furnished, closed upon and on top of that a damn cow? How in the hell was I going to get him a cow? Where did one even get a cow?

I closed my eyes for a minute and prayed that I would be able to come through with this latest insane request. If I didn't, I didn't think I'd be employed for much longer. Sighing, I got up and went into the bathroom and flipped on the light. I studied myself in the mirror as I reached for the Tums and poured four into my hand. My brown eyes were nearly completely eclipsed by my pupils, which were dilated beyond belief. I had sweat on my forehead and an unhealthy pallor in my cheeks. Even speaking to Mr. Cullen was hazardous to my health. What would letting him down be?

I stumbled back into the bedroom and sat down at my laptop. I had a house to buy and a cow to acquire. If he asked me to find a way to send him back into outer space where he may have come from, I'd do that too. He was all I had.


	3. Chapter 3 Bella's Past

**A/N As highly requested, here's a look at Bella's past. This conversation occurs sometime between chapter 17 and 18 and will be posted in the main story. It's too important to be part of a bigger conversation so it stands alone. I'll post it there sometime after the next update, but meanwhile you can read it here. I did it EPOV, so we could have his reactions. I hope you like it!  
**

Taste Outtake, Bella's Past

EPOV

It's time. I don't care if she's ready or not, it's fucking time. She's sidestepped this over and over again but I can't live without knowing anymore. I have to know what the fuck I'm competing with; what fucking ghost is hanging over her head and keeping her from being truly mine. I'll go mad if I don't find out.

Look at her, sitting there, staring out the window, her mind God knows where. Is she thinking about him? Is she remembering what it felt like when he touched her? Does she compare us? Not that any insignificant human could ever hope to compare to me, but when you've only had one other experience, surely it enters your mind at some point, right? She doesn't think I'm like him, does she? I would never hurt her. She has to fucking know that.

"Bella?" She turned her head just slightly and sent me a half smile. Fuck, she was beautiful. I swore when I looked at her I could actually feel my heart start beating again. I was so fucking ridiculous. She was dressed simply in a blue t-shirt and jeans and I was acting like she was dressed to go to the fucking Oscars. The thought of Bella in one of those tight fitting gowns was enough to make Edward Junior wake up. Fuck, now was not the time.

I walked over to the window and ran my hand through her hair. She leaned into my touch and I felt like cheering in victory at that reaction. A couple of days ago, she would have smacked my hand away and accused me of trying to get her into bed; which admittedly I would have been. This time, though, I wasn't interested in sex. Well, not much anyway.

I slid into the window seat next to her and kept stroking her hair as she leaned her head on my left shoulder. Hmm, now that I was here, how the hell did I go about this? I couldn't just demand that she tell me about the guy who broke her heart. I had to be smooth. Fuck…I could be smooth. That was my middle fucking name.

"What are you looking at?"

She hummed and shrugged. Great, that was fucking helpful. Why the fuck couldn't I read her mind? The one person in the world I actually fucking wanted to hear and she was silent as a church mouse. Fucking ridiculous.

"Nothing, really. Just looking at the trees, thinking." Excellent, I could work with this.

"What, about?" I continued stroking her hair gently. She sighed and snuggled into my shoulder. This would be easier than I thought.

"Home. Washington, that is. It's so green there, trees are everywhere you look. I really like it here, because it reminds me of home." Her voice as impossibly sad and I felt guilty yet again. I'd managed to live a century without ever feeling bad about anything I'd done and yet I felt lifetimes worth of guilt over my decision to change her. Not that I regretted it. I'd do it again; I'd just do it differently if I could. Give her time to say goodbye, let her fall in love with me first…I was too fucking impulsive but once I found her I just couldn't let her go. She belonged with me.

She'd given me a bit of an opening and I was going to take it. "What else do you miss about home?"

"My dad." The answer was instantaneous and I reminded myself yet again that I needed to find a way for her to get her dad a message. Jenks would come up with something, or else.

"What about your friends from school?" See, I was fucking smooth as hell. That was a good segue.

She shrugged again. "Not really. There were a few girls I spent time with but we weren't that close. Once I came to New York, we lost touch. Usually on holidays I just spend time with my dad." Yes, Bella, I get it, you miss your father. I'll do something about that soon, I promise. But for now, we have more important things to discuss. _Asshole. _Fuck off. I'm busy and I do not need your input on this one, motherfucker. I have to know.

"What about boys?" Her body tensed and she started to lift her head from my shoulder but I held her there and continued to stroke her hair soothingly. Come on, Bella, talk to me.

"No." Her voice was rough and final. Well, too fucking bad. If we didn't discuss it, she couldn't get beyond it. And neither could I. _That's fucking bullshit. She can get beyond it; she probably already has seeing as she let you fuck her countless times now. You're the one with the fucking hang up. _ So what if I fucking am? Don't I have the right to know what makes her hold back from me? _I've told you what does, you jackass. You need to tell her how you feel and she'll let you in. _Fuck off, I must know.

_Do you even realize how ridiculous you are? You've fucked countless women and you can't get over the fact that she's given another guy a blow job? What would you have done if she wasn't a virgin? _I don't know…it doesn't really matter since she was. Go the fuck away. I need to talk to her. _Fine, dig your own grave, moron. _One day I'll dig yours, I swear to fucking God.

"Baby…will you tell me, please?" She heaved a sigh and shook her head, burrowing into my chest as if she could hide away from me. A part of me wanted to drop it right then and there. I should fucking drop it and get over it. She was with me now. But he hurt her and he should be punished for that. I couldn't let it go, I just couldn't.

"Bella, you can't hold on to it forever. Whatever he did…I'll fix it, I swear."

She jerked her head up at that and leveled me with a heated glare. "Fix it? How in the hell do you think you can fix something that happened years ago? You can do a lot of things, Edward, but you can't go back in time and stop the teasing, the name calling, the utter humiliation I felt!" She was yelling and Edward Junior was being his usual inappropriate self, getting hard as hell and trying to escape my jeans to rub up against her. Horny fucking bastard. I couldn't blame him though; Bella was hot as hell when she got angry.

Still, her words penetrated my brain. Teasing, name calling…what did that motherfucker do to her? I stroked her cheek and she let me but she didn't stop glaring either. I swallowed the venom that welled up at the sight of her snapping eyes and tried to sooth her. "No, I can't go back in time. All I can do is try to help you forget. I don't ever want to hurt you like he did, but how can I know if I will if you don't tell me what happened?"

She laughed scornfully and my heart broke just a little bit at that sound coming from her beautiful lips. Bella should never sound so broken and bitter. He would pay, I swear to fucking God he would. But I couldn't tell her that, she'd just get all worked up about killing people again. Why couldn't she be normal, just for one fucking day?

"I can assure you it won't happen again. For one thing, you're not in high school and you don't have any friends to go and show pictures to."

Oh, fuck no. She did not say what I thought she said. Surely my Bella hadn't allowed some asshole to take pictures of her and show them to his friends. This was absolutely unacceptable. "What pictures? Jesus Christ, Bella, just tell me what happened!" I snarled and she blanched. The anger died out of her face and she looked completely shattered. _See what you did, prick? _Yes, I see. Go the fuck away.

I folded her back into my arms and she pressed her face into my neck, her shoulder shaking with silent sobs. For once the dick in my head was right; I had definitely fucked up by pushing this. It was my problem and I wasn't going to make her talk about it anymore. I could get over it on my own, probably.

"I'm sorry baby. I really thought it would be a good idea for you to talk it out. I'm a selfish asshole and I won't say another word about it." She sobbed for another minute or so before she pulled back and shook her head.

"You really want to know?"

Um, hadn't I made that pretty damn clear? "Yes, but not if it makes you unhappy."

She sighed and turned to look out the window again. I played with the ends of her hair and for once made myself wait quietly while she engaged in whatever internal debate she was having with herself.

"Okay, I'll tell you but you need to promise something first." Of course there were fucking conditions. Nothing could be simple with this girl.

"What do you want me to promise?"

She turned away from the window and looked right into my eyes, her lovely red ones boring into mine. "That you won't kill him when you hear what he did." Well, fuck. How dare she make me promise the one thing that I'd been dying to do since the first time I heard about him? Why couldn't she do the right damn thing just once?

I stared into those eyes and found myself saying the words I did not remotely want to say. "I promise I won't kill him." And I couldn't fucking lie to her, so he was going to get to live, no matter what heinous act he'd pulled that had hurt my woman. Alright…so he could live. That didn't mean I couldn't do something else. There were many ways to hurt a man, after all.

I was reasonably comforted by that idea so I was able to give Bella an encouraging smile when she continued to watch me. "Baby, I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to go kill him. He's still in Washington, isn't he?" It would be rather convenient if she'd followed him to New York, but that would be irritating as well so him being on the other side of the country was enough of an obstacle to assure that I didn't break my word, not right away anyway.

"Yes." She glanced back out the window. "He's at U-Dub along with a lot of my classmates." Good, I knew where to find him. Now I just needed a name. One little name and one story and I could go about avenging my woman.

"So what did he do to you?" I still did not believe the picture thing. Maybe she'd misspoken. Maybe I'd misheard. No way did Bella actually pose for anything…still, if he had anything that showed her body, anything that compromised her, he wouldn't have it after today. I would be damn sure of that.

She sighed and turned away from me. I fucking hated that and reached out to turn her but she stopped me with her words. "I can't look at you while I tell it. Please?"

That was probably for the best. I might not be able to hide my anger if it was as bad as I feared it was. Still I reached out and stroked her jaw. "Okay, why don't you turn sideways and face away from me? I'll rub your shoulders while you tell me." She was tense as hell and could use the massage anyway. Bella nodded and shifted between my legs facing the wall. I started rubbing the tight knots in her shoulders and finally, blessedly, she started to talk.

"I moved to Forks midway through my junior year, I think I told you that?" I gritted my teeth at the memory of her telling me that the night we met. Her selfish fucking mother, making Bella feel like she needed to pick up and leave her entire life so she could spend time with her new husband. I hated that woman.

"Yes, you told me." My voice was a little rough from my anger and Bella glanced over her shoulder at me. I smiled reassuringly and nodded for her to continue.

"Well I've always been shy." I nearly snorted. That was a fucking understatement and yet untrue at the same time. She was shy the first few moments we met but now she was anything but, unless I was telling her I wanted to eat her. She was such a mix of things…she constantly kept me guessing. "And it was hard for me being the new girl in such a small school. I got a lot of attention at first but when people found out I wasn't that interesting, I really faded into the background. I was happier that way though."

I clenched my teeth in irritation. My Bella should never be in the background. She was a shining example of all that was right in the world and people should have fucking appreciated her when they had the chance. "I made a few friends and I was pretty content. I loved getting to know my father better. I was fairly happy, or a good facsimile of it." I could make her happy…so happy she'd never have to wonder if she really was, like she was doing now.

I pressed my thumbs into her shoulder blades. "So what happened to change everything?"

She sighed and let her head fall forward, so I started rubbing her neck. She gave a soft whimper and I pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. She scooted back into me and Edward Junior rejoiced as her perfect ass was pressed up against him. Down boy, now is not the fucking time.

"Senior year. I was…well I was one of the smart kids. A nerd I guess. Happier buried in books than going to parties on the weekends. You know what I mean?" Of course my Bella was smart; she was too smart for those backwoods kids. It was no wonder they didn't appreciate her.

"After first quarter, my AP English teacher asked me about tutoring. One of the star basketball players was having trouble with his grades and several of his teachers wanted to get him help. They all thought of me and I agreed to it." Here it fucking was…some douche she'd been helping had taken advantage of her. The urge to crush him was overwhelming but I tried to temper it as I kept rubbing Bella's neck and shoulders. Keeping my hands on her should keep me calm. I hoped.

"So I agreed and we set it up so he'd come to my place after school. Dad worked odd hours so I was often alone anyway and I figured why not. Mike was…well, he was one of those All-American boys that never looked twice at me, or so I thought anyway. Blond hair, blue eyes…most of the girl's in school had a crush on him. He dated the prettiest girl in school on and off all four years I guess. They were off again when I started tutoring him." Mike…so I finally had a name. Her town and her school were rather tiny, she'd said, so a first name was all I needed. I smiled as I pressed another kiss to her shoulder. Mike was mine now.

"I'd never spoken to him before and there he was in my house, smiling and flirting and making me feel special…noticed I guess?" Her voice was very quiet now and I ran my hand down her arms and linked her fingers with mine to give her silent comfort. Her head rested against my shoulder and I could see that her eyes were closed as she told her story.

"You are special, Bella. And I noticed you right away." Her eyes opened briefly and met mine before she looked away again.

"You just wanted my blood."

How she could fucking dismiss herself like that was mystifying. It pissed me right the hell off. "Bella, I told you before and I'll tell you a million times if I have to, I wanted you. YOU. Not your blood. If I wanted that, I would have just killed you out on the street. I wouldn't have taken you home, played the piano for you, listened to you, kissed you, made love to you…changed you for God's sakes. I've never done that before. You know that. Please, baby, if you believe nothing else, believe that. To me, you are the most special woman in the world."

She smiled up at me and leaned her head toward mine. Catching her drift, I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her for several long minutes. She pulled away and faced forward again, but her thumbs traced circles on my hands where I held them.

"He flirted a lot and eventually he did little things, like touch my cheek, hold my hand, press his leg against mine…you know, the things guys do when they're interested?" I fought the urge to grip her hands tighter and kissed the top of her head. "One day he told me how he really liked me and he kissed me. After that, well, we didn't study overly much when he came over." My teeth ground together at that image, even though it was ridiculous to have wanted her never to have touched another male. I knew that, but it didn't stop me from hating it.

"He told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend and I was ecstatic. I thought I could go to his games and cheer for him, have him come kiss me in the stands after he won, go to dances and movies and dinner. You know, normal stuff." Normal stuff…I'd never given her any of the normal things either, unless you counted thousands of orgasms. Someday I'd make up for that. I swore it.

Her voice got quieter as she burrowed deeper into me. I tightened my arms around her, just showing her I was there and I wasn't leaving, like he obviously had. "But he said we couldn't really go out in public, that his break up with Emily was too recent and she was the jealous type and he didn't want her to come after me. I believed him because she was…well she was a bitch if I'm being honest." I chuckled and kissed the side of her head. I loved it when my Bella swore.

"I'm sure she was." And if she'd done anything to hurt Bella I would destroy her as well.

She sighed and squared her shoulders, as if gearing up for something big. I felt my own body getting tense as I waited for her to tell me the rest. "Eventually he wanted more than just kissing and touching under the clothes. I wasn't ready to have sex with him but he convinced me that I was sending him home every night with blue balls and causing him pain. He didn't flat out say that he'd leave me but he made sure to indicate that there were plenty of girls that would take care of his needs. I didn't like the thought of hurting him so I asked him what he wanted me to do. First, he taught me how to give him a hand job but then he said that wasn't satisfying enough and he wanted my mouth."

I was seeing nothing but red as I listened to her talk about how she'd been guilted into giving the bastard a blow job. Of course my Bella was too kind hearted, too good to see through his manipulations. She didn't understand horny teenage males. Her naiveté was both refreshing and disturbing.

"I was scared but I wanted to please him and I wanted to keep him. I'd never had a boyfriend before and I was too stupid to see that I didn't even have one then." Her voice was filled with bitterness and pain so I tried to shake off my anger and be supportive. It was fucking hard though. I wanted to run to Washington and go on a killing spree and we hadn't even gotten to the part where she got her heart broken yet.

"So, I gave him one, and then another and…well, you get the picture." Yes I did and I didn't fucking like it one bit. "That went on for a couple of weeks and I thought all was well. Mike's grades were better and I thought he loved me and I finally felt like I belonged somewhere and with someone."

"Did he tell you that he did?" I didn't know why, but the thought that he had said that, when I still hadn't, made me feel even angrier and something else I couldn't identify.

"No, which is why I was so stupid to think that he did. I just felt like he did, every time he kissed me and held me and told me I was his." His…as if she could ever belong to someone that didn't appreciate her. As if she could ever belong to anyone but me. He could never have loved her like I did. He didn't deserve her.

"Did you love him?" Even saying the words felt wrong and made me want to go on an even bigger killing spree. If she'd loved him and he hurt her knowing that, then all bets were off and he was going to die. I didn't care if I did break a promise.

She shrugged. "I thought I did, the way you do when you're eighteen and in your first relationship. I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't. In retrospect? No, I was in love with the idea of him. I clearly didn't know him at all."

I could live with that. She'd been young and naïve and thought she was in love, she wasn't the first and she wouldn't be the last. I was the one she would love and I would love her back, forever. "So what happened?"

She held her breath for a minute and blew it out. "I went to school on what I thought was a normal Monday. I hadn't seen or talked to Mike since Thursday. That was the last time we'd done anything, you know?" Of course I fucking knew. I hated that I knew but I had to know for my own piece of mind. Damn me and my curiosity.

"I walked down the hallway and there was all this giggling and whispering. People were staring at me. I thought maybe I'd buttoned my shirt wrong or had toilet paper stuck to my shoe or something." Her voice broke and I hugged her tightly to me. I wished I could go and walk with her down that hallway, face whatever happened with her and scare the piss out of anyone that dared laugh at her.

"I walked to my locker to get my books for my first class and I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around and there was Tyler, one of Mike's friends on the basketball team, along with Eric and a couple of other popular guys. They were kind of surrounding me and I was trapped against my locker." Two new names to add to the list. I hadn't promised not to kill them and if they'd touched her…

"Tyler says to me, I didn't know we'd had your last name wrong all this time. I was really confused so I asked what he meant and he said he'd heard I had a different last name. I thought maybe he was talking about Phil's last name or something, but he wasn't." She paused and I squeezed her fingers in support.

"He said I was going by the wrong bird name." I had a bad fucking feeling I knew what she was about to say. "Instead of Bella Swan, I should be called Bella Swallows." Her voice broke and her shoulders hunched in shame. Fuck! White hot rage flowed through me and I fought my damndest to keep from yanking my hands away from hers and rampaging through the house breaking shit. I wanted to in the worst way. I was grateful she couldn't see my face because I didn't know what she would see there but I doubt I looked remotely calm.

"Then he held out his cell phone and there was a picture of me with Mike's dick in my mouth. I didn't know he'd taken it, my eyes were down, but you could clearly see it was me. They all laughed and then Tyler grabbed my breasts and asked me out and Eric said he got the next night and it was just horrible and I started crying. Luckily a teacher came down the hall so they let me go and went on to class. I just ran out to the parking lot and went home. I tried calling Mike, wanting some kind of explanation but of course he didn't answer or call me back." Death was not good enough for what he deserved, taking pictures of my Bella without her knowledge and giving them to his friends. And they, well they would not get off scot free either. I had never wanted to kill more than I had at that moment, not even when I was a newborn overcome with bloodlust. Only years of self control had me reigning in my temper.

"I told my father I was sick and I stayed home for a few days but I could only go so long without returning. I went back on Thursday and there were Mike and Emily, strolling hand in hand down the hall. He wouldn't even look at me. And everyone called me Bella Swallows, from that day until graduation. I ate lunch in my car every day and didn't talk to anyone…even the few friends I had distanced themselves from me." Some friends; this is why people sucked and were better kept away from unless you were looking to dine on one. Her voice was almost robotic at this point, like she was trying to remove any emotion from her story. I hated that whole town and wondered if I could figure out a way to wipe it off the map without the Volturi noticing.

I fought back all the anger that was coursing through me and pressed kisses to her hair and her neck and shoulders. A big part of me wanted to tell her that I loved her and would never let anything hurt her but I didn't think now was the time for something like that. I didn't want her to think I was lying to make her feel better or I'd said it because I felt bad for making me tell her story, which I did. But I loved her too and it pissed me off that anyone could hurt her that way.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry that happened to you and maybe you don't want me to say it but I wish I could go back in time and make it all better for you. If there was a way, I would do it." I'd give everything I had to take that pain from her.

"Thank you, Edward." Her voice was quiet and she sounded almost tired. I held her for a few more minutes until she pulled away and turned to face me. "You were right you know."

This was a rarity, for Bella to say I was right about anything. "About what?"

"I'm glad I told you. I didn't like relieving it but it feels good to get it out. I've never told anyone that before, not even Alice and Rose."

I stroked her cheek and she leaned against my hand and smiled. "Thank you for trusting me with it. I swear to you, Bella, I will never, ever violate your trust like that." My voice was filled with a sincerity that I didn't have to fake for once. It was God's honest truth.

She smiled softly and kissed me. "I know. I need a little time to myself. I'm going to go see Willow." That was a relief; I didn't even have to come up with a way to get away from her for a few minutes to do what I had to do.

"Okay, baby, come back when you're ready." She kissed me again and then rose gracefully and walked out of the bedroom. I watched her run toward the pasture and the sight of her helped calm some of the anger that was eating me from the inside.

I grabbed my laptop and did a search for high schools in Forks, Washington. Of course there was only one. I grinned when I pulled up their website and found the yearbook section. Schools were ridiculously stupid about putting things like yearbooks on the web for all the world to access. I pulled up the class of 2006 and began looking at the seniors. The class was fairly small so there were probably only a handful of Mikes. I found a nerdy looking one who probably was not a star athlete so I flipped along and then there he was. Mike Newton. Blond, blue eyed, smiling like he owned the whole fucking world. He'd own nothing when I got done with him.

I pulled up the team then and saw Tyler Crowley and Eric Yorkie and the rest of the basketball team. All of them were worth checking into. If they had that photo of Bella then they would pay just as dearly as Mike would. I ran across the Senior Superlatives and there was the blond Ken doll again, in several pictures for best smile, handsomest, mostly likely to succeed, best couple. And there was Emily, black hair, black eyes, bitchy face…I could see that she'd clearly thought she ruled the entire world. She was nothing next to Bella, nothing.

Bella's picture took my breath away. Her big brown eyes looked so sad, her smile was barely there but she was just so fucking beautiful…how did they not see that? Did they honestly think this Emily, this dime a dozen beauty queen, could remotely compare to my Bella? She was all that was good in the world and they were too blind to see it. They deserved one another. And what was coming to them.

I hacked into the University of Washington, which was absurdly easy to get into, and looked at Michael Newton's grades. He was as subpar as he appeared to be, with B's and C's and the occasional D. It wasn't much of a stretch to believe that he could fail out of school. I promptly changed all his grades to F's. Using his social security number, I found his bank account and grimaced at the meager $6283 that was in his savings account. I redirected that money into a charity for women…it was the least Mike could for treating Bella the way he had.

So, failing out of school and penniless, a loser like Michael would surely turn to his family in his time of need. I couldn't be sure that they knew what an asshole their son was, so his parents needed to be handled as well. A little research led me to Newton's Outfitters, some camping store in Forks. They didn't have a lot of money but they were doing alright. Were being the key word, as their savings went to the same charity as their son's had. They couldn't remotely be able to trace where it went either, I bounced the money from place to place and hid it under blinds and shields. I was thrilled I'd taken the time to learn my way around computers over the years. It had served me well time and time again.

I pulled out my cell phone and hit speed dial one. "Hello, Mr. Cullen. What can I do for you today?" The terror was clear in his voice and it made me feel slightly better. Mike would never know me, at least not any time soon, and any pain I caused him would not be my pleasure to see. Still, I'd do what I could now and someday I'd go after him again. That would be fun.

"I need you to call Garrett and give him an important assignment."

"The PI? What would you like him to do?"

"I need him to break into the apartment of Mike Newton, 232 Ashland Avenue, Seattle. Apartment 42. I want him to take any information he finds that contains grades, search his computer and phones for any pictures of a pornographic nature and destroy them all. The same goes for Tyler Crowley at 325 Main Street, apartment 16 and Eric Yorkie at the same apartment." I hadn't hacked into their grades yet but if they still had that photo of Bella, they would get the same treatment that Mike had. And maybe I'd have Garrett kill them too; Bella hadn't mentioned them in her request for mercy, a fortuitous oversight.

"What? Sir, what could you possibly…"

"Are you questioning me again, Jenks? Haven't we fucking been over this?" This was not the time to push me.

"Yes sir. I'll get right on it." God, he was a pain in the ass. He'd better not question me ever again.

"I also need you to get me a phone, untraceable, something like what the CIA or FBI uses when they don't want anybody to be able to track their movements. Can you manage that, Jenks?" The threat in my voice was clear as day.

"Yes sir. Do you want it sent to the New Jersey house?"

"No, send it to New York. I'll get it when I go into town next." I didn't want deliveries coming here; I wanted us as isolated as possible.

"Okay, sir. Anything else I can do for you?" He was kissing ass now but I wasn't in the mood for it.

"No, I'll be in touch." I snapped my phone closed and walked back to the window. Bella was smiling and petting her stupid cow, looking carefree and happy, unlike her expression just minutes ago when she'd poured out her heart. I was going to see to it that she never looked like that again, and the first thing I could do was give her back her father, if only via phone call. I might not have said the words yet but she would know I loved her when I brought him back into her life. It was the least I could do; give her back her one good memory of that awful town.

She'd never know what else I had done to avenge her, but I would and it would be enough, for now.

* * *

**A/N Kids are mean...Smugs is meaner :)**


	4. Chapter 13 Outtake, BPOV Bedroom

**A/N This is the final FGB outtake that won the popular vote in my poll. A look at the bedroom scene through Bella's eyes. I wanted to wait to post it until after the last Taste chapter. Didn't want to tip you off as to her feelings for Smugs. This should definitely explain them a little more though! Hope you like it and thanks again to Team Smugward for the money they raised for FGB. It was incredible!**

Taste Chapter 13 Outtake

BPOV

He didn't kill him. He didn't kill him because of me. He stood in that alley, looking every bit like some kind of avenging God brought down from heaven to wipe out evil on earth, and he fought his every instinct and didn't kill him. And he did it because he didn't want to hurt me. Because he knew if he spilled even a drop of that jerk's blood, I would have lost my resolve, instinct would have taken over and I'd have drained him before I even consciously knew what I was doing.

A part of me, a huge part of me actually, wished he would have done it. He could have taken the choice out of my hands and made it for me and I would have enjoyed draining that foul man of life. Then I could have blamed Edward for it and I would have been satisfied. And that was terrible, because he'd put me first and I would have happily grabbed at the opportunity to point the finger at him when I failed. I didn't know why it was, but blaming him was far easier than blaming myself.

Not that he wasn't responsible for the person, or vampire, that I was today. But I was growing used to it and to him and if I was honest with myself, I felt far more comfortable in this harder skin than I ever had in my own. And being with him was easy. It was natural and I could be myself and I didn't have to think about how he would react to anything weird that I said or did because he was stuck with me. And I was stuck with him. And we were stuck with one another but I didn't feel stuck. I felt like I belonged, in this life and with him.

He was holding my hand and the car was deadly as silent as we made our way to our new home. I knew he wondered why I'd gotten out of the car and I wished I could tell him but I honestly didn't know myself. I'd just felt compelled to be there. Maybe a part of me knew that if I went, I'd stop him from killing someone. Or maybe I'd just wanted to eat. Still, I'd needed to see him like that. He was gorgeous and glorious and somehow, by some weird twist of fate, mine.

I glanced at him, seeing him perfectly despite the darkness. His sharp, beautiful face, his blazing red eyes, kissable mouth, strong, capable hands…man or monster, why he had chosen me was beyond comprehension. He was perfection and I was just me and I would never understand it but somehow it all made sense anyway. We fit and he got me and nobody had ever gotten me before. Hell, I didn't even think I got me when it came down to it.

Edward turned down some long, dirt road and I felt a tingle run through me because I knew we were almost there. Home. "You can go ahead and breathe now, if you like." I took a deep breath, staring out at the trees and the wide open space. It smelled good, fresh and green and natural. It reminded me of Washington and the home I'd left behind. I could make a new home here. With him. It amazed me but it was the simple truth. Edward was my world now.

He pulled in front of the house and I gasped at how lovely it was. It was everything in the pictures and more. Stunning. I couldn't believe I was going to live here. With him. He turned off the car and I turned to face him, desperate to tell him something, but I didn't know what it was. Thank you? You're amazing? I don't like you but I think I love you? I had these warring feelings when it came to him. Sometimes I wanted to kiss him; sometimes I wanted to kill him. They both felt perfectly natural and right. Right now, though, I wanted nothing more than him. He'd killed me but he'd given me a new life, a better one, except for the whole wanting to kill people thing.

He stared at me, searching my eyes for something. I had no idea what but I tried to let him see just how happy I was that he'd spared that man for me and bought this place for me and was putting up with all my crazy mood swings. I knew it disappointed him that I couldn't be like him, but despite that, he was still here and still trying to please me. He was incredible.

"Bella, baby, please talk to me. Do you hate me now?"

Hate him? How could I possibly hate him after he'd done all this for me? I didn't know how to make sense of all the thoughts that were jumbled in my head when it came to him, but one thing I knew was that I didn't hate him. Rather than answer him with words, I answered him with my lips. I lunged at him and kissed him hungrily; trying to show him just how grateful I was for all he'd done to make things right for me.

My hands found his hair and I tugged on the messy ends, loving how the silky strands felt rubbing against me. His lips moved over mine expertly and his hands moved down my body, finally resting on my ass and squeezing it not-so-gently. I moaned and pressed closer to him, my breasts against his chest, feeling his hard body against mine. He was so perfect and I wanted him so much and maybe it was time to just say fuck it and stop with all the damn games and finally be with him again.

I wanted him just as much as he wanted me, maybe more since I seemed to crave him the same way that I craved blood. Every second that I wasn't touching him was some kind of delicious torture that burned through me. I was insane for keeping him at bay for so long, for thinking that I needed to make him conform to my standards in order for us to be together. Was what he did so wrong? It wasn't something I was comfortable with, but at least he had a moral compass that only let him go after people who wronged others. It was a ridiculous reason not to be with him and damn it, I wanted him. This wasn't a game, this was real life and if I was going to embrace some of it, I needed to embrace all of it.

His lips were hard and right on mine but I noticed that he wasn't as into the moment as I seemed to be. There were times when he seemed like he wasn't with me anymore, even though he was next to me, touching me in some way. It was like he went someplace in his head that I wasn't able to go with him. I hated it. I wanted him with me always.

Suddenly his lips were harder on mine, more responsive, and I knew he was with me fully again. He moaned and melted into me and I couldn't help but smile at him as I pulled away. "There you are. I was beginning to think that you didn't want me anymore."

He frowned and reached up to touch my cheek. "No, baby. You just caught me by surprise is all. I was worried the whole way home that you were going to hate me for what you saw and then you started kissing me. To say I was surprised is a huge fucking understatement."

I couldn't contain the grin that his words brought. He wasn't pulling away from me; he was just surprised by my actions. Well, join the club; I was pretty surprised also.

"Can I ask what brought that on anyway?" He looked so confused, like a lost little boy. It was adorable and I brushed the hair out of his eyes and just smiled at him while he continued to grow more impatient. I loved how annoyed I could make him just by making him wait a little for an answer. That was kind of bitchy, I suppose, but he was so damn cute when he was scowling at me. Still, I'd try to answer.

"Well, I don't know exactly." I bit my lip and tilted my head as I tried to sort through all the crazy emotions he brought out in me. It was so confusing. It was a mixture of happiness and anger, love and hate, lust and disgust…everything warred within me and whatever won one second lost the next. It was hard to hold on and to and define what was most dominant.

"Why didn't you stay in the car?

There was a good question. I shrugged and tried to give him the answer, to explain that pull I'd felt to be near him. "I just had to see what you were going to do. It's one thing knowing what you do, imagining it, but it's another thing seeing it with my own two eyes."

He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly just as confused as I was and I couldn't help but giggle at the expression of irritation on his face. "I may not want to kill anyone, Edward, at least not in here." I pointed at my heart. "But there's something inside me…something wild and primal and hungry and I could feel it pulsing in me as I sat there, knowing that's what you were going to do." And here I would admit what I could barely admit to myself. He wouldn't judge me. "And God help me, I wanted it. I wanted to be a part of it. I was out of the car before I really thought about it and I could hear you, from a couple of blocks away."

My breath was ragged and I was back in the city, approaching that alley, focused solely on the sound of that heartbeat and the angry voice of my…whatever he was. He took my hand and jerked me back to the present. I looked into his eyes and only saw him again.

"When I got to the foot of the alley and I saw you, with your hands on his neck and him against the wall...I wanted him, Edward." And you…God how I wanted you. "I wanted to come and snatch him out of your hands and taste that blood. I could hear his heartbeat…I could feel it as if it were my own. It took everything I had in me not to take you up on your offer and finish him." And then attack you just as hard as I did him. "And you didn't push me…" That amazed me more than any of it. He could have sent me over to the dark side, where he claimed to want me, and yet he didn't, because he cares about me.

I squeezed his hand, so very grateful that he hadn't pushed his advantage and not knowing how to thank him properly. "You want me to kill people. And you could have gotten me to do it. Or you could have bitten him and that would have been enough to make me join you, just like you wanted. But you didn't, Edward. You didn't make me slip up. You didn't kill that man in front of me, even though his thoughts upset you." He flinched and I knew whatever the man had thought, it had been enough that Edward wanted to kill him, badly.

"For me, you let him live. You hurt him." I made a face as I thought about just what Edward had done. I should have been disgusted but I hadn't been. What I'd been was royally turned on. Only the fact that I was afraid I'd kill someone if we stuck around had kept me from attacking him then and there. "But you didn't kill him. And, well, this is embarrassing," I broke off, not sure I wanted to admit this to him or not, looking down at our hands and running my thumb over the back of his hand.

"What, Bella?" he asked quietly.

"It was…" Should I tell him? He already knew I wanted him, didn't he? I looked up at him and bit my lip. "It was sexy," I blurted out, then covered my mouth, shocked that I'd admitted it at all.

He laughed, looking like I'd hit him over the head with a hammer and that pissed me off, that he'd laugh at me when I'd let my guard down with him. "Sexy?" Then he smirked, which irritated me all the more. Here I admitted that I wanted him and he had to act like a typical jerk. Why was I surprised? Everything was a fucking game with him.

I glared at him. "Yes, okay? Knowing that you could have killed him, it was exciting. Part of me wanted you to, so that I could join in and then blame you." I lowered my voice, filled with shame at that admittance of my weakness.

He shook his head vehemently. "You could have blamed me. If I did that, it would have been my fault." He sounded guilty and sad and I couldn't have him feeling that way, not after what he'd done.

"But you didn't." I squeezed his hand and smiled at him, my good humor restored. These mood swings were even driving me crazy and he was putting up with it. For that alone, I owed him. "And you made sure he could never hurt another woman again. That was…" Should I tell him? It didn't seem I could help myself as I saw him in that alley again and shivered with desire. "Incredible. Knowing you could snap him in half without a thought was exciting." It was. It was sick and wrong but knowing he had that power, that I had that power, was intoxicating.

"Baby, I will happily snap someone in half for you. You just say the word and consider it done." He gave me some sexy look and I smacked him upside his head. That was another thing I'd never done before he came along…but hitting him felt right too. What was it about this guy? He drove me nuts.

"What made it exciting was that you didn't. For me. Because of me. Because you didn't want to force me to do something I didn't want to do. Because you…" I broke off again, unsure if I wanted to voice this thought aloud. What if he laughed at me for being an idiot; for reading more into things than was really there; for being a stupid, foolish girl who was dazzled by someone entirely out of her league?

"Because I what?" he asked, getting impatient with me yet again. I loved the angry look on his face, I couldn't help it.

I looked all around the car, wanting to avoid this, avoid him, but of course he wasn't having it. He grabbed my chin and tilted my eyes toward his. "What, Bella?" His voice was gentle, despite the irritation on his face. Yet another instinct that he fought for me.

"Because you care about me?" I said the words softly, almost hoping he wouldn't hear them but knowing that he would. I peered up at him from beneath my lashes and tried to read his face. He looked stunned and happy and annoyed all at once and I figured I'd said the wrong thing. I closed my eyes, wishing I could take back the past few minutes. I shouldn't have said anything and just pretended I was mad at what he did back in the alley. That was easier than putting my heart in his hands and having it crushed.

His thumb moved over my cheek and I leaned into it and opened my eyes, hoping that maybe I wasn't so wrong with my thoughts on why he'd done what he'd done back in the alley. "Yes, I care about you, Bella." He was watching me carefully, looking to see if I felt the same way I guessed.

Oh, thank God. I smiled at him and took a deep breath, so happy that we were on the same page. "It means a lot to me, that you didn't encourage me back in that alley. And that you brought me here, so I could try this diet and get a chance to be outside and see the world again." That couldn't be doubted. I was grateful to have some space, some semblance of freedom. "I know I'm not what you wanted me to be…"

He growled and I started in surprise. His moods changed as quickly as mine, it seemed. "You're exactly who I want you to fucking be, Bella. You may drive me crazy but it's a good kind of crazy. I never get bored with you. I've never shared my life with anyone but it's easy to do with you. Don't you dare say you're not who I want you to be. You're exactly who I want."

His words enveloped me like a warm blanket and I wanted to snuggle into them for hours. He did care about me and he was doing his best to show it. I was grateful for all he'd done and I kissed him. "Thank you for that, too. You're showing a lot of patience with me and I'm pretty sure that's not something you're known for."

He laid his head against the headrest and howled with laughter and I couldn't help but join him. He was so damn beautiful and maybe I should tell him. I stopped laughing and bit my lip, again unsure but so far nothing I'd said had put him off. Surely this wouldn't as well. "Edward?"

He stopped laughing and looked annoyed again. Of course he was. Moody asshole. "What?"

I looked down at our hands, still joined, much to my surprise. It felt right touching him though. "I just thought you should know that I care about you too." I said it quickly, afraid to lose my nerve.

He took his hand away from mine and tilted my face up again. I was more scared to look at him now than I'd been when he was pissed at me or even about to kill a guy. His eyes, though, like his lips, were smiling at me and I felt relieved as his lips met mine hungrily. I sighed and his kiss softened and I felt the way I felt about him reflected back at me. This was good and this was right.

Eventually I pulled away and pressed my forehead to his, laughing in surprise. I was starting to care a bit more than I was ready for, risking my heart in a way I hadn't in a long time. It scared me just how badly I wanted to throw caution to the wind, but I needed to be strong and take time and make sure this was real and not just some crazy reaction to being a vampire. "Maybe we should go check out the house," I suggested quietly, not really wanting to move from his arms but thinking it the safest course of action.

"You're right, we should go inside." He kissed me again and those feelings swamped me once more and I responded to him. This time, he was the one that pulled back and got out of the car and came around to let me out. I smiled at him being a gentleman. It didn't seem to fit with his nature but he seemed to battle most of his instincts around me. It was surprisingly sweet.

He took my hand and pulled me to the front door and gave me the keys. "Why don't you open it?" I knew what he was saying. He was saying this was my house too and I loved that. I grinned at him and took the keys and opened the door before sliding my hand back in his so we could walk in together. I wanted to be connected to him as we looked at our house. _Ours._

It was better than I'd imagined. The floors gleamed, even in the darkness. The winding staircase was like something out of _Gone with the Wind, _one of my all time favorite movies. I'd always wanted my own Rhett Butler to sweep me into his arms and carry me up to the bedroom and have his way with me. I glanced at Edward and smiled. He was even more gorgeous than Captain Butler, and he was real and mine.

"It's so beautiful! Even better than the pictures!" I ran my hand over the banister. "I love it, Edward." He didn't say anything so I walked over and took his hands in mine. "What's the matter? Don't you like it?" He seemed gone again, lost to me. What had I done?

He shook his head and smiled then. "I do like it. More, I like watching you like it." I grinned and tugged him into the kitchen. It was a chef's dream, with tons of storage and granite countertops and shiny black appliances.

I ran my hand over the counter, imagining all the meals I could have made here. It would obviously remain unused. "I wish I could cook here."

"You cook?" he asked, sounding surprised. I suppose it wasn't something he'd ever thought about.

I smiled and nodded. "Neither of my parents was very good in that department. So, I learned by necessity. It was fun, relaxing." It was also something I'd never do again and that made me sad.

He came up behind me and led me to the double doors that overlooked the backyard. "You can relax there, you know." He gestured to the huge swimming pool and I felt a smile move over my lips at the image of swimming with him. He'd be gorgeous in nothing but a swimsuit…or nothing at all for that matter. I knew he was trying to make me happy by taking my mind off the kitchen and I appreciated it. I also appreciated the mental image of him naked.

"Let's go upstairs." Maybe we could check out the bedroom and maybe, just maybe, it was time to check out the bed. I wanted him and I very much wanted to show him that I wanted him. We held hands as we walked up the staircase and turned into the huge master bedroom. It was gorgeous. The bed was the biggest I'd ever seen and it was framed with the same cherry wood that dominated the kitchen. My eyes were immediately drawn to the window across from the bed, with a padded white window seat. It was perfect and something I'd always wanted.

I let go of Edward's hand and ran to the window, sitting down immediately and smiling at him, my joy overwhelming me along with everything else. "I can read right here! Oh, Edward, it's so perfect." He came to me and put his hand on my shoulder and stared out into the night with me. This would be my place, the place I would go when I needed to be lost in my thoughts. It felt like it'd been made for me and maybe it had. Just like maybe he had.

I glanced toward the bathroom and was in it before I thought about actively going there. That was weird too; my body seemed to move without command. I squealed with delight when I saw the huge spa tub and I plopped down into it. Edward came in and gave me a huge smile when he saw me lounging in the empty tub. It was so big that eight people could probably fit in it comfortably and the white marble tile was just stunning. One thing I'd always loved about living in colder climates was taking long, hot bubble baths while reading a good book. "I can read in here, too," I told him, unable to keep the smile off my face.

"I can think of some other things you, no _we,_ could do in there," he told me and instantly my mind was assaulted with images of naked, slippery bodies. Oh God. I bit my lip and got out of the tub, giggling.

"I'm sure you can." I pushed past him and went back into the bedroom and stood next to the bed. We could definitely have fun in the tub but now, for our first night in the house, I wanted to feel him in bed next to me, touching me slowly like he had the night we made love, the night that everything changed forever. I was ready, but that didn't mean I had to make it easy for him. "So, where's your room?" He growled, predictably, and I laughed at his reaction. "Well, it's not like we need a place to sleep, right? I just need a place to put my clothes and this is it." There was more than enough room for the both of us but it was fun to tease him for once.

"A bed can be used for way more than sleep," he purred and I felt my body tense with want and need. Finally, I would be with him again. I bit my lip and looked at the bed and then back at him. There was no reason to be nervous. We'd done this before, but it was different now. Now I knew who he was, what he was, and I was accepting that and him. It was a big deal for me, especially after all that had happened in my past.

He walked over to me and ran his finger up and down my arm. I shivered at his touch, desire moving through me. At last. He kissed my cheek and I gasped at that tiny bit of contact, knowing what he could do to my body. His lips moved over my face, skimming along my jaw and over my neck. I tilted my head to allow him better access. God, I wanted him touching me. These light kisses were undoing me and I was seconds away from tackling him and ripping off his clothes and taking him liked I'd wanted to countless times since I'd awakened. Fighting it had been nearly impossible and I was finally done.

"You could read," he murmured softly against my throat. Yes and I would, later. "You could watch TV." He bit my neck and I couldn't stop the moan at that feeling. "You could play on the computer." He nibbled my neck and I wondered why the hell he was talking about TVs and computers instead of making love to me. "You could write." I could write about how this felt, his lips moving over my body as if I was cherished, wanted beyond anything. He bit my other shoulder and I fisted my hands to keep from ripping his clothes off his body and just taking him. "You could paint your toenails," he whispered. Well, that would make a mess, although with my vampire skills maybe I could do it, if he liked it; if he found it sexy. He nibbled on my jaw and then kissed me and I opened my eyes, ready to tell him that I wanted him. I was done with waiting for him to become something he wasn't. I wanted him as he was. He smiled seductively. "So, you see, Bella, the bed has infinite uses. Can you think of any others?" He smirked and I felt anger move through me. He was fucking with me, again. Playing his damn games and making me a melting puddle of goo just so he could have the upper hand and have me at his mercy. Why did he have to ruin every damn thing?

I pushed him away and he actually laughed at me. Laughed…_at me._ I was incensed. Two could play this game and guess what? I would win. He wanted me just as badly as I wanted him. Maybe more. I smiled seductively at him and a triumphant smirk moved over his face. Let him think he had me where he wanted. I could turn the tables.

"I can think of one other thing, Edward, but I'd need your help with it." I purred the words at him, just like he'd done to me and sure enough, his expression grew dazed and he moved closer to me and put his hands on my waist.

"I am always ready and willing to help with all your needs, baby. What would you like me to do?" Damn right he was. I'd bring him to his knees for playing with me like that, when I was about to open up and let him back in.

I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing my lips just millimeters away from his. "I need you," I whispered, giving him a tiny kiss on the right corner of his mouth, barely touching him before moving to the left and doing the same there. "I need you," I told him again, kissing him for the briefest of seconds. His hands tightened on my waist and it took everything I had not to laugh in triumph. "I need you." I moved closer now, rubbing my body against his, feeling him react to just the slightest touch. Yeah, this was going to be easy. He had it coming through, leaving me all wound up. His hold on me tightened and I knew he was only seconds away from doing what I'd wanted, before he decided to be a complete dick and tease me mercilessly. My turn now.

I kissed his lips again, moving away to kiss his cheek and nibble on his left ear, sucking on the lobe and grazing it with my teeth. His hands moved to my sweater and he started to pull it off. Oh no, Cullen, I don't think so. "I need you," I whispered again. He tugged again and I knew I had to finish this before it went too far and I forgot what I was doing in the first place. I still wanted the hell out of him but I wanted to teach him a lesson more. "I need you to get out your laptop and order me a vibrator."

He jerked away from me as if I'd slapped him and I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up at the shock on his face. He looked like I'd given him the best present in the world only to take it away and tell him he could have it later. I actually felt a little bad about that, but he'd started it. I'd just finished it. It was only fair. Plus I had every intention of making it right if he'd just admit to being a jerk.

"That wasn't fucking nice, Bella," he hissed at me, letting go of my waist and walking back to the window. I felt bad. Maybe I'd gone too far in my efforts to get back at him. I wanted to teach him a lesson but I didn't want to hurt him. And I had, I could see that beyond the anger. That was the last thing I wanted to do after what he'd done for me tonight.

I walked over to the window and put my right hand on his shoulder and wrapped my left around his waist. "Edward, I was just kidding," I told him, incredibly sorry that he didn't realize that. I'd gone too far in my teasing and he thought I was rejecting him again. I should have known that. His hand moved up to take mine and pressed close to him, just holding him for a few minutes and watching the sunrise together.

I kissed his beautiful back through his shirt, trying to show him that I still wanted him and that I was sorry for messing with his head. It was just my natural instinct with him. Push and then pull. I didn't know what in the hell I was doing, how to seduce a man, but I went with my gut and started stroking his abdomen, moving toward the button of his jeans. That should clue him in.

He pulled away from me as if I'd set him on fire. "Do you want to eat?" What? He was worried about food now? Yes, I was hungry, but it was for him, not for blood. He was what I craved. I'd really blown it.

"Sure." I'd clearly killed the mood. He started to walk away from me and I caught his right hand before he could leave. He turned to look at me, sadness all over his face. "I'm sorry," I told him softly, filled with regret that I'd let my anger get the better of me yet again.

"No big deal." He pulled away before I could say anymore.

I'd make this right. This was my fault. I'd said I was tired of the damn games and then I'd played one in response to his, acting like a child instead of the mature woman I'd always thought I was. Before the day was out, I was going to make this right. Edward Cullen was going to be mine, in every way that mattered.


	5. Chapter 5 Cowtake

**A/N When I asked for outtake suggestions, there was one that won above all others. More Willow! Well, here's your Willow ladies! I hope you like it. I laughed my ass of writing it. Poor Smugs. I hope you enjoy!**

Taste of Innocence Cowtake

"Edward, I need your help."

Her voice was filled with nerves and I looked up from my conference call with fucking Jenks. Bella stood in the doorway, her golden eyes wide with panic. Fuck me, I knew this was going to happen and I told her a billion fucking times that I was not going to get involved with this crap but of course, here she was and of course, here I fucking was, ready to drop everything to make that look on her face disappear.

"I'll call you later," I growled, shutting the laptop before he could get in a word edgewise.

A nervous smile flitted across her face because I stopped what I was doing. But was I going to make it easy on her? Of course fucking not. This was all her doing anyway.

"How in the hell am I supposed to help you, Bella?"

"I can't do it alone." She wrung her hands helplessly. She was so fucking cute with her hair pulled back in a braid and her jeans and t-shirt. I wanted to lick her.

"I told you back when we got the fucking thing that I wasn't going to take care of it."

"I know, but…"

"But nothing. It's your fucking problem, not mine. This was all your brilliant idea which I told you would fucking backfire but did you listen to me? No. You just gave me that look and I fucking gave in and now here you are asking for more help? I told you this would fucking happen."

She huffed angrily and I bit back a smile as the temper started to show on her face. Anything was better than that wild, scared look she was sporting.

"I can't do it alone! If something happens to her I'll die! Do you want me to die, Edward?"

I rolled my eyes at her fucking dramatics. "Technically, you're already dead, baby." I was about to say more but I broke off when the fireplace poker flew past my head and embedded itself in the wall. Fuck, she was really pissed off. I fucking loved it. "Really, Bella? You're going to get me to help you by throwing a temper tantrum?"

Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. "There's not time to get you to do it by offering you sex."

She was fucking perfection. I laughed and got to my feet. "There's always time for sex, baby."

"Not while she's in pain, Edward. I'll fuck you for hours after you help me."

I crossed the room and kissed her soundly. "You do know the way to my heart, baby."

"More like the way to your cock," she muttered. I laughed and kissed her again. She started to melt into me, like always, but then she remembered her fucking priorities and shoved me away. Too fucking bad for me.

"Cock, heart, it all works the same when it comes to you." I gave her my best smile and she smiled back and grabbed my hand.

"Coming from anyone else that wouldn't be sweet. Now come on!"

I thought about making a crude comment about what I'd like to come on but thought better of it when she practically yanked my fucking arm out of the socket and into the barn. My girl had done quite a job in here, there was fresh hay in all the stalls and it shone like a fucking cathedral for her fucking cows. She led me to the last stall, where Willow lay on the fresh hay, mooing, her eyes rolling in obvious discomfort.

"We're here, baby. It'll all be okay," Bella crooned as she walked into the stall and knelt at Willow's head, stroking her coarse fur. She was practically making kissy faces at the stupid fucking thing.

"I think you're at the wrong end," I told her helpfully, not hiding my grin when she fucking hissed at me.

"She needs my comfort. You're the one that needs to be at the other end."

What the fuck did she just say? "Why the fuck would I be down there? I have never in my fucking life wanted to watch a cow give birth, Bella. This is your deal, not mine. I thought you wanted me here to keep you both fucking calm."

"Of course not! You need to help her get it out." She said it in that tone again, that tone I fucking hated that indicated I was a fucking dumbass for not thinking that she expected me to somehow help in the fucking miracle of cowbirth.

"Exactly how am I supposed to help her get it out? Push, Willow. Don't forget your breathing." My sarcastic words earned me a baleful glare from my girl that caused Edward Junior to stir in my jeans again. That fucker didn't give a shit about appropriate timing. Angry Bella equaled hard Edward Junior. It was like the quadratic equation for my fucking cock.

"You take those gloves," she gestured at some fucking doctor's type gloves that were lying across the stall door. "And you put them on and you reach inside her and grab the babies' legs and pull it out."

I was fucking hallucinating. My wife had not just told me that I was going to be reaching into a cow pussy and pulling out a fucking baby. That was just not fucking possible. "Don't we have a fucking vet? Where the hell is he? And why am I the one doing the pulling? She's your fucking cow, you get her baby out."

"Dr. Martin is out at the Morgan farm dealing with an emergency. He can't be here and he says it's easy and we can do it ourselves." She patted Willow when she had another contraction. I could see her stomach moving and it was really fucking gross.

"I'm surprised he isn't dropping everything to be here," I muttered sarcastically. That fucker wanted the hell out of my Bella and it took everything in me not to rip his fucking head off every time he came over; which was way fucking more than necessary. Of course the one time the fucker would actually be welcomed he had to be otherwise occupied.

"They're having some trouble with their goat and it needs emergency surgery." I shook my head. Emergency surgery for a fucking goat? Just let it die. It was a fucking goat. "Jim said all we have to do is get a good grip on the legs and pull. There's some tool that you can use, it's sitting against the wall there, but I doubt you'll need it."

I glanced at the metal pole thing that I had no fucking idea how to use. "What is this you shit, Bella? I am not reaching inside your fucking cow. You do it."

"I can't!" she shouted, throwing up her hands and startling Willow, who shifted a little and let out a louder moo. She sighed and started petting her again. "I'm too scared that I'll hurt her."

"And if I fucking hurt her, you'll castrate me. No fucking way am I doing it, Bella."

"You won't hurt her." She looked at me with those pleading golden eyes again that turned me into the whipped fucking pussy that I was with her. I was not fucking bending on this though.

"How do you know? I don't know the first thing about delivering a baby."

She snorted. "Please, like you haven't mentally seen it about a billion times?"

I glared at her. "Contrary to popular belief, I do not loiter in people's mental fucking images of having a fucking baby. That shit is fucking gross, for one thing. For another, having a kid is different from having a cow apparently. I haven't heard of a doctor having to shove his fucking hands up a pussy to pull out a baby. Can't we cut the fucking thing out?"

"She'd die!" Bella screamed. Of course she fucking would. She was a cow. Cows fucking died. My wife was fucking insane. "We're not cutting open my Willow!"

She looked like she was about to lose her shit so I sought to calm her the fuck down. "Okay, baby, no cutting open the cow. That doesn't explain why I have to be the fucking one to reach inside her. She's your fucking cow. We established that when you decided to keep her instead of eating her like you were supposed to."

Bella gave me that look again. No fucking way was it working this time. "I can't do it, Edward. I'm too scared that I'll use too much strength and hurt the baby. Willow would be crushed."

I'd like to fucking crush Willow. "Baby, she's a fucking cow. I don't think they have quite the same sentiment for offspring as people do." As Bella fucking did. You'd think she was the god damn father of the fucking thing instead of Xander the fucking bull, who was currently snorting around the pasture, no doubt pissed off that we were nearby. It happened just like I fucking told her it would when she weaseled the thing out of me. He fucking hated us and tried to charge her every time she came into his territory. Not to mention the fact that he fucked every single one of the cows other than Tara, who I was convinced really was a fucking lesbian cow. She'd been put out ever since Willow got pregnant. Who knew cows could fucking sulk?

Now we not only had pregnant Willow, but also Anya, Buffy, Sookie, Bonnie and Elena. Only Tara remained a virgin. I fucking told her this shit would happen but she didn't listen to me. My only saving grace was that she seemed to be content with her fucking cow harem and she didn't want anymore. I think she was running out of vampire TV show names, since she refused to name one Cordelia when I suggested it. Her hatred for Cordelia continued to amuse the fuck out of me. I might have fueled the flames every time she made me watch that fucking show with her.

"Are you telling me that she doesn't have feelings?" Oh, there it was, the danger tone that told me I was walking a thin fucking line again. I'd learned my lesson the last time and we weren't going to fucking go there again. I wanted to get laid sometime within the next fucking year.

"Of course not, baby. You know she loves you." My tone was completely sincere even if my words were a fucking crock. "I just don't think cows have the same attachment to their babies as humans do."

"Willow will! She'll feed her and cuddle with her and play with her." I wisely didn't say a fucking thing, though I wanted to ask how the fuck cows cuddled. They didn't have fucking arms to wrap around each other. Maybe laying next to one another counted in Bella's eyes.

"Okay, baby. Anyway, the point was, I know nothing about cow birth. I'm afraid that in the billions of thoughts I've read, not one of them was about fucking cow labor."

"Haven't you seen _City Slickers?"_

What the ever living fuck was she talking about? "Rain jackets? What the fuck do those have to do with anything? Are they condoms? Do they make bull condoms?"

She looked at me as if I was a fucking moron, which admittedly I felt like one right about now. "It's a movie."

"Sounds like a porno. Which, if it is, we should totally watch because it would be fucking hot."

Bella reached over and hurled a shovel that was leaning against the wall at me. I dodged it, laughing. "It's not a porno! It's a movie about these guys going to a cattle ranch. Billy Crystal has to help a cow have her baby." Bella bit her lip and her eyes filled with sadness. "She had to be killed because she was dying but they saved the baby. I don't want Willow to die, Edward."

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, she slayed me. I walked over and knelt next to her and Willow on the uncomfortable fucking straw. I wrapped my arms around her and she leaned against me. "Willow won't die, baby. Cows have babies all the fucking time, just like people, and most of them are just fine."

She buried her face in my neck. "Will you help us, please?"

I sighed. I was fucking done for, as always when it came to my girl. "Yes, I'll help you." God fucking help me; I was going to be reaching up a cow's crotch and pulling out her fucking calf. Add that to the list of shit that I never thought I'd do in this fucking existence. Most of the shit, like falling in love and getting married had been great. I highly doubted this would be in the same fucking realm though. "What do I fucking do?"

I could tell Bella was distracted because I'd used the word "fuck" a shitload and she hadn't yelled about it once.

"You need to put on the gloves and then reach inside her and feel around for the legs. Grip them firmly and pull her gently out."

Yeah, that sounded fucking easy as hell if you weren't the one with your hands in a cow's fucking uterus. "I must really fucking love you."

She beamed at me and gave me a smacking kiss. "You do. And I really fucking love you too, which is why I'm going to jump your sexy body as soon as this baby is born and we're sure they're both okay."

And now I had even more fucking motivation to get the fucking cow out. I got up and put on the medical gloves, frowning at how short they were. "Bella, I think that…"

Willow let out a very loud moo and her stomach contracted again. "Edward, it's time! Reach in there!"

I could not fucking believe that I was doing this, but she looked so fucking scared as she stroked Willow's heaving side that I knew I had no choice. I crouched down next to her ass and wrinkled my nose. She smelled worse than usual, probably because of all sorts of disgusting shit like fluid and birth juice or whatever the fuck was going on down here. I pushed her tail out of the way and reached slowly toward her. This fucking cow better not kick me while she had a contraction or she could just have her fucking baby on her own. Seriously, why the fuck couldn't they just push them out like other animals?

Willow bellowed again and I saw her fucking hole actually open a little bit. So fucking gross. I wondered if this was going to put me off sex for awhile. No, that wasn't fucking possible.

"Hurry Edward," Bella pleaded, resting her head on Willows and crooning into her ear. Jesus fucking Christ, my girl was singing to a fucking cow. We both needed to go to Bellevue.

"I'm trying, Bella. This is not exactly something I've ever fucking done before." She continued to sing to Willow as I finally got to her fucking opening and started to push my hands in. I felt her contracting around me which was really fucking weird and gross and if I could fucking hurl I would be doing it right about now. As it was my stomach clenched and I gagged.

"Don't be a baby," Bella scolded, still not looking at me because she was all about her fucking cow, never mind the fact that I was the one who was sticking my hands inside her fucking vagina. It was the first time in history that I was inside a girl that I didn't fucking want to be. Well, the second time. Victoria was the first.

I gagged again when I felt the warm gushing fluid against my skin, because those fucking gloves were too short. This was so fucking disgusting. Her muscles gripped my forearms and I shuddered but kept going. The sooner I fucking got in there, the sooner I'd be done.

After what seemed like hours but was probably only a few seconds, I felt something hard with my left hand. I felt around and realized it was a leg, thank fucking God. I reached with the right as well and after a little groping, got a hold of the other leg. I heard a click and glanced up to see Bella taking pictures with her digital camera.

"You are not fucking taking pictures of me with my hands inside your fucking cow," I told her angrily.

"I'm recording the miracle of birth!" she replied with a little giggle. She was fucking enjoying my torture. Some wife she was.

"I'm breaking that camera," I told her, gripping the legs and starting to tug, as gently as fucking possible. Time to get this fucking thing out of her stupid fucking mother. Then I was going to kill fucking Xander so I would never have to go through this bullshit again. Then I was going to take a shower and scrub myself for about an hour and then I would fuck Bella for the rest of the day, because I'd fucking earned it.

"I think I'll send some pictures to Jenks. He'll get a kick out of it." She took another fucking photo while I glared at her.

"You will do no such thing. I have an image to maintain, and whipped pussy is not it. Only you get to see that."

She put down the camera and patted Willow again. "How are you doing?"

I knew she didn't give a damn how the fuck I was doing, so I didn't bother to tell her that I was in my own personal fucking hell. "I have the legs."

She lit up in a smile that warmed me despite the disgust I felt at what I was fucking doing. I moved painfully slowly, trying to ignore the gushing around me and the increasing speed of the contractions. If I moved too fast I'd probably rip the damn thing in half and then Bella would kill me.

I was finally only to my wrists inside the fucking cow. Freedom was so close. "All I do is keep pulling it out?" I asked. I couldn't fuck this up now, not after I'd already done the worst part.

"Yes," Bella told me, leaning forward excitedly as I began to pull my hands out of the fucking cow vagina, holding lightly onto the legs as I breathed a sigh of relief when my hands were no longer surrounded by convulsing uterus. Thank God that Bella couldn't have a baby. I could never live through the experience, nor could her doctor because I would kill him for touching her beautiful pussy.

The hooves were now out and I continued to pull slowly, trying to ignore how fucking disgusting the legs were, covered with blood and goo and God knew what else. I got the legs all the way out. "Now what?"

"Reach back inside." Fuck me, not again. "And help guide the head out. Then you can pull the legs again and she should come right out."

I bit back an angry retort and pushed my hands back inside, finding the head right away and positioning my hands on either side as I gently tugged it out as well. The head and front legs were now out and I gripped them again and pulled at the same time as Willow had another contraction and out the fucker popped, along with a gush of fluids that landed all over my shirt and jeans. I would rather get beaten with my grandfather's fucking cane than have this shit all over me, that's how fucking foul it was.

Bella was clapping and hugging Willow, like she'd done any fucking thing other than lay there and let me do all the fucking work. "It's a boy, Willow. You have a son!"

Willow responded to this by letting out a moo. There was your fucking motherly devotion. The cow, or fucking bull I guess, was pretty fucking comical, wobbling on his legs and looking confused as all hell. He was the spitting image of his soon to be dead fucking father, with tan fur and big, stupid eyes.

Bella crawled over next to me and wrinkled her nose in disgust at the sight of me. I gave her a look that dared her to fucking say something but she just leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss. "Thank you, Edward. You don't know what this means to me."

But I fucking did, because it shone in her eyes and her face was as nearly as happy as it was when we got married. She loved her fucking cows and I'd helped her with them so I was fucking golden. As it should be.

I stood up, pulling off the gloves as I readied to go shower and then burn my fucking clothes. Bella took my hand and stopped me from leaving.

"What should we name him?"

I rolled my eyes. Like there weren't plenty of fucking vampires to choose from? "I don't know. It's a good thing it's not a girl, you've run out of those names."

She giggled. "There's still plenty more." I feared what that fucking meant and hoped to God we weren't getting anymore DVDs. She grinned up at me. "I think maybe I'll name him after my favorite vampire."

I rolled my eyes. "Angel it is then."

She shook her head and kissed me again. It was hard not to pull her against me but I didn't want to make her disgusting too. Although, then we could shower together which would be a much more enjoyable activity.

I broke our kiss. "Who then?"

She reached up and trailed a finger down my nose. "Edward is my favorite vampire."

I grinned at her. "He is, is he? What show is he on?"

"The Story of My Life," she replied. "It's my favorite."

I kissed her again and this time, mindless of the fact that I was covered in cow afterbirth, she threw herself into my arms.

When we broke off, I smiled at her. "Mine too, but we're not naming a cow after me."

She giggled. "Okay, we'll call him Spike."

"You had that in reserve, didn't you?"

"Of course." Of course she fucking did. That was my fucking crazy ass girl. "Let's go take a shower." My fucking crazy ass, incredible girl.

"Okay. Then we're fucking. Then we're killing that bull."

She giggled and tugged me out of the barn, leaving Willow and Spike to bond or whatever the fuck cows did. "We could just castrate him, like we're going to have to do with Spike."

I stopped and stared at her. "I am not going to fucking touch another animal's balls, baby. I draw the fucking line right there."

Bella laughed uproariously. "Gotcha. We'll have the vet do it." She snapped a photo of my stunned ass and ran into the house, still chortling away.

Yeah, we'd have the vet do it. Maybe while he was busy handling their balls he could help me find mine. "Are you coming?" she called and I heard the water turn on. I ran inside. Who the fuck needed balls anyway?

* * *

**A/N Remember, if you have any suggestions, let me know. I've got a few more to write but I'll happily accommodate whatever you like. Clearly my twisted mind has no boundaries. hehe Just think, there are more pregnant cows. The vet better show up for the rest of them though. **

**Thanks for reading!  
**


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